Figuring Things Out [CAROLINE LIVINGSTON | Closed]

Once again, the music was on.

It was like music and art were the two things that were keeping me together in this place. Even though I felt a lot better about everything, about how I was acting and how I was getting along, I was still stuck in this place and I didn't like it at all. What I wouldn't give to be at home, with my dog, in my own bed, with my own damn radio playing. And maybe a little bit of company but that was beside the point.

So in addition to being frustrated with this place, I was also sexually frustrated and this was awful.

How I was dealing with this was beyond me. What I would really appreciate right now is to be able to get rid of this bullshit stress because right now drawing wasn't cutting it. I was just lying sprawled out in bed, pretty bored but pretty irritated at the same time. I just... Wanted out of here.

It had been a while since their paths had crossed, but that was kind of a funny thing about people being in the same building. Eventually, people would meet again. Caroline smiled, a room that she usually passed and would be empty was empty no more, the man she'd met in the dark once and had been there when she brought a stowaway was actually present this time, and that made her happy. She liked all her patients equally, but it was nice to meet the ones that treated her nicely. She knocked twice before tilting her head in, making sure he wasn't doing anything he shouldn't be first before entering.

"Hey, you. Never got to ask, you don't mind if I call you Jiho, right? You know how much I hate last names." Specifically, she hated her last name and the memories she brought with, but it usually helped her patients that she preferred a first name basis. Somehow she understood that, how it could possibly make things more personal between people. She didn't touch anything, since, technically, he hadn't really invited her in yet. Still, she made her way to the window, looking out.

"Sorry, I don't have Pierre today, but I'm sure he sends his regards." Caroline finally looked at him, noting some features she'd missed in the dim light. His hair was lighter than she'd thought, his eyes a much prettier shape than she'd remembered. A smile crossed her features. "Aww. Look at you. You're gorgeous," she cooed, more in a motherly oh-how-about-that kind of way than as a joke.

I opened my eyes after I heard the knock at the door, brows knit together in confusion. Who was coming to check on me? I didn't remember a scheduled check-up or anything, so when the door opened and the nurse poked her head in I nodded to myself. I hadn't seen her in a while, and she'd been okay company, so I was pretty happy seeing her.

"Yeah, that's cool," I said, nodding and watching as she let herself in and looked out the window. The barred window with those horrible curtains - I made a mental note to ask about taking them down. I had to frown at the mention of no kitten, though. I liked animals far too much to take that lightly.

"Aw, no Pierre. That's a shame," I mumbled, even offering a smile. But when she spoke again I looked away, nibbling on my bottom lip and letting the grin fall to something near embarrassment. Gorgeous? No, I wasn't gorgeous. I mean, I wasn't bad looking, but gorgeous?

"... Thanks," I mumbled, picking at the fabric of my sheets. I didn't want to return the compliment just because it felt forced and awkward and so I kept quiet, simply smiling to myself.

His embarrassment to her compliment only made him that much more adorable in her eyes, but she refrained from actually saying anything about it, but her smile did grow just a little wider. Caroline had never really cared what people thought she looked like, since it never really mattered. She never wore jewelry unless she wasn't working, but she seemed to either be working or sleeping. Eventually, trivial things like expensive, in-style haircuts stopped being a priority.

"You must be running around a lot. I come by every once in a while and you're very rarely here. Making some new friends, I hope, instead of enemies. Probably easy for you to make friends, since your hair looks like newborn ducklings." A tiny giggle followed her words. Though she was not fond of mentioning her own physical attributes, or what little of them she knew she had, she was never one to hide her harmless thoughts. Compliments, especially real ones, were never halted in her mind.

"Seriously, though. What have you been up to, anyway?" Always, curiosity won over, and nosiness set in. She hoped he was making good choices, since it made her happy to think about nice patients doing nice things, even when she wasn't around.

Running around was a way to put it. Making friends was another thing that I'd... kind of done. As far as making enemies, well, I guess I was still in the clear for that, too. But I guess she'd just caught me at the wrong times - if I wasn't in here, I was usually out in the courtyard or something.

... Wait, ducklings?

I quirked a brow, shooting a glance up at my hair and even pulling a strand down to examine it. Ugh, roots were probably starting to show, I hated that. But it wasn't like I could do anything about it at this point.

"I've been... just hanging out with people, I guess. Well... Person, more like... And drawing and stuff." I fished my sketchbook out from where it had ended up under the covers, flipping through the first few pages of random doodles to where I'd actually started sketching. "I drew you, actually. I got kind of bored one day and started sketching random people I'd seen. I'm pretty proud of it." I handed the book over with a shrug.

I'd always been proud of my art, namely because it was the one thing I'd actually practiced. And it definitely showed because, not to toot my own horn, I was pretty damn good at it. My sketch of Caroline looked almost spot on, as did the... many sketches of Kyo that peppered the pages. My tattoo doodles, I guess was how I was referring to them now, were also pretty good. Not as good as the portraits, though.

Her hand reached for the offered sketchbook, entirely flattered. It wasn't the first time a patient had done something for her, and it probably wouldn't be the last, but it still filled her with pride all the same. Eyes traced over the lines, followed by fingers. It was mesmerizing. The lines looked neat, purposeful, and they were all made so carefully. There was no mistake, this was her face. Caroline sat on the edge of the bed, looking over the page.

"It's beautiful," she said softly. "Truly. Thank you." Her fingers went under the page and flipped to the next one, a picture of a man she didn't know, but assumed he did. She smiled, turning the book to show him what she saw. "Is he the person you've been hanging out with? He looks pretty cool, like a guy in a movie or something. What's his name?"

Again, she admired his abilities. She often wondered if she could get a hobby, so she could do something for her patients other than give them the ordered medication and speak to them about things they wanted to speak about. Spend time with them, make them feel like they're not so alone, remind them that somewhere inside them, they're still human and they still matter. That's what Caroline thought the best part of her job was. To be the solace that kept them to something solid.

"You're welcome," I murmured in response, sitting up and looking over the picture again absently. I was still proud of that one, and the look on her face was the reason that I kept drawing. "You can keep it if you want. The pages are perforated." I offered her a small smile, looking back down when she flipped the page. Almost immediately I smiled at it, recognizing it easily as the first one I'd drawn when Kyo was sitting in the room. I nibbled my lip, nodding.

"Mmhm," I replied in a hum, pulling up my pillow and curling around it as I put it in my lap. Resting my head on it, I even managed a soft and almost dreamy exhalation as I quietly traced over the lines with my eyes. "Niishimura Kyo... He's... Great. He doesn't think he's great, but he's great."

Ugh, I sounded pathetic. I couldn't help it.

"He's kept me calm while I'm here," I said, still looking at the page. Yeah, frustrated, but calm. "He's... Ah, I didn't get the smile right in that picture," I mumbled, laughing at myself as I scrunched up my nose in distaste. I'd done that better in some of the other pictures. Between the portraits and the designs the book was starting to get full.

"I think I will, thank you. Just so you know, this is, in fact, going on my fridge. My grandmother loves looking at things patients make for me." She flipped the page back to her picture, carefully removing it from the book. Searching for another of Kyo, she flipped through designs she thought were perfect for permanently putting on a person's body. Probably not her, but a person.

"Mmm. I always thought if I would get a tattoo, I'd get one of an empty cage. Most people would get one of the bird itself, but somehow that felt like it was still tying down the bird, in a way. Unable to fly, or even move. I guessed it meant something more to me if it was just the cage. Not that I could ever get a tattoo." Caroline had always blamed it on not wanting to spend money on something no one would ever see, since it had to be hidden in order to be taken seriously as a nurse. In truth, it was less about money issues and more about the lack of a surface on her body that was hidden and didn't have a scar on it. She stopped on another of Kyo.

"Do you like this one more? It's probably really hard to get him right, to you. I've heard it's challenging to draw something you like, since it feels like it's never good enough, even when it is. I'm sure Kyo would love to see these. He sounds... important to you." Sure, she wondered the extent of their relationship, but she wasn't going to openly question it unless he wanted to talk about it.

I looked at her when she mentioned tattoos, trying to figure out the logistics of a cage and deciding that I could definitely draw that. It would be pretty simple, too. Though when she said that she could never get a tattoo I narrowed my eyes, finally looking up from the page and at the woman sitting next to me.

"Why? I've seen tons of doctors with tattoos. I'd even design it for you. Hell, I'd do it for you, if you ever wanted it," I added, an offer put on the table with a simple smile. If it came to art, to tattooing, to laying ink on someone permanently, I would always volunteer to help. Everyone could have a tattoo, as long as they wanted it.

When Caroline stopped on another picture I looked back down, smiling again. I did like this one more, and it was pretty obvious with how I curled further into the pillow and grinned softly.

"He's seen some of them," I mumbled, nodding to myself. The first few, at least. "... But nothing I ever draw is ever going to be perfect enough. Ever." I sighed softly, head sinking into the pillow as I let a frown tug at my lips. "He is important to me. I don't know if he knows how much he's helped," I added, shrugging and looking down at the paper again. "I sound so lame..."

"Me, a tattoo? Sûrement pas! Those things hurt, you know! Especially since the only place I'd want it would be on my ankles or wrists or something." A tiny hint tugged at her ear, lowering her voice shyly before she spoke again. "I suppose... it would be nice though, to finally have something on me worth looking at, you know? Draw me something and maybe I'll think about it. Just... leave the cage door open. As for you doing it, have you ever done it before? Actually give a tattoo?"

Oh, but Jiho was just being so cute and adorable and she just wanted to hug him and feed him a little treat or something, but she knew better this time around. Caroline had only ever been determined to go to college and better herself, and now that she'd accomplished that, she had never really thought about what she wanted after that. She commended him for that, for having something to think about. Even if that something was actually a someone. In hindsight, she had never even thought about whether or not she would ever settle down with a nice guy and live out her days in fairy tale bliss. But she knew better, because fairy tales never seemed to like her anyway, and finding a nice guy usually meant trusting a guy.

"Has he said anything about them? Surely he can't dislike them. Besides, I think it's nice. Having friends in here can sometimes be tricky, but it's so worth it when you find one. Sound as lame as you like, I really enjoy cheesy romance movies." Which was true. Plenty a time she had curled up with Pierre on the couch watching some really girly movie to put her to sleep. Still, she reminded herself that romance did actually happen. Not usually in a mental hospital, but it happened.

I reached over after she spoke, taking the book and flipping to a blank page as I grabbed my pencil. If she wanted me to draw her something, I was going to draw her something. "I'd been planning on leaving the door open, anyway," I mumbled, smiling softly as I set about putting graphite to paper. I would do this almost realistically, with a soft hint of a sketchy wisp. It was nice, and I drew as I continued talking.

I quietly wondered what the other woman was thinking about when she fell silent, though I had a feeling it was about relations, and life, and all of that fun stuff. It wasn't really fun - it was difficult and stressful and hard to get through. But every once in a while, something good actually happened. I guess you just had to wait for it.

I had to chuckle, though. "He said they were great and then said he didn't have any talents." I shook my head. "I just told him he was wrong. But... Ah, romance..." I mumbled, accent slipping into a flustered tone. "It's not really... a romance, though..." That being said, I wouldn't have minded it being a romance at all.

"Is it weird?" I asked suddenly, looking up from my sketch. "That this happened in an asylum?"

"Alright, alright, fine." Playfully, she held her hands up as he took the book and started drawing, and she loved watching him. It was almost like letting her into his mind, but the only thing he was focused on was the thing she nearly told him to be focused on, so it didn't really count. She still followed the strokes, watching them flow like water through rocks.

"Maybe he just hasn't done anything long enough to be talented at it. I'm not particularly talented at anything, either. I know it's just because I haven't really done much else than work and go home, but still. Things like that," she motioned to the page, "those things take time. He's probably just frustrated with failing too much, like me." Jiho, cute as he was, became flustered, which she adored.

"Does it feel weird? I mean, it doesn't usually happen, but that doesn't mean it can't, or that it doesn't for a reason." Caroline's eyes met Jiho's. "Feeling things in a strange place doesn't make them any less real, you know?" Not that she would, but still, the point was valid all the same.

"But... He doesn't think he's good for anything," I mumbled, sighing and going back to the sketch. I was almost done, so I just focused on it, nodding in response to her statement. If I was going to admit everything I felt right now then the conversation would take a sappy turn and I don't think I could handle actually saying some of those things out loud yet. "I think he's perfect in his imperfections."

When I finished the sketch I studied it for a second, brows furrowed as I erased a few stray lines, fixing them before nodding and handing the book back to the woman next to me. It was... pretty, which wasn't usually my style, but it suited her.

"You clearly have talents. You're here, and you actually aren't a creep, so there's that." I chuckled softly. "Is it good?" I asked, nodding to the page. It looked nice, in my opinion. "It would look good on your shoulder. Then later, if you wanted to, add a bird flying out of it and onto your neck. If you wanted to." I smiled lightly, absently fiddling with my fingers.

"He's probably got something he'd be good at, if he tried. He probably just doesn't want to try, because that would mean spending time trying to do it and do it well. You seem happy enough just taking him as is, anyway, right? If it bothers you, you could try just nagging at him constantly about something, complain that you're the only one who knows anything about drawing, whatever. He might just pick it up just to get you to be quiet. Ancient French grandmother technique; it's the only reason I have flowers in my house."

Taking the notebook back, she looked down at the page. Before she thought about it, her hand met his briefly before she caught herself, instead moving to her mouth. It wasn't just pretty, it was delicate and fascinating. It seemed so gloriously elegant and she couldn't really explain why. It touched her in a way she never expected it could. A piece of art not meant to be somewhere hidden, especially not in such a horrid place as her shoulders, the place where monsters held her down. She grabbed her shoulder, the other arm still supporting the piece. Eventually, she dropped her arm, running her thumb down the side.

"No, not the shoulders. I'd want to look at it always. Somewhere on my arms, I suppose. Maybe some feathers instead of the actual bird." She wiped her eyes, feeling the threatening wetness beginning to brim at the edges. "I could never pick a bird, they're all pretty." She laughed. "And it's not considered a talent to be normal in a building of what is considered abnormal. What creeps have you met, anyway?"

I chuckled - Kyo said so many times that he wasn't talented, but he seemed creative and I knew there was something there. I just needed to figure out what it was. "Maybe I'll try that. He's stubborn, though," I replied with a smile, though I had to take the book back once more when she spoke.

If she couldn't pick a bird, I would. I added a trail of feathers from the open door of the cage, lips pursed and quite concentrated on the final product. I wanted it to be perfect, though I didn't have the pop of color I felt it needed - it was hard to add color when all I had was a pencil anyway. I did shade them, though, the trip only being a few feathers long. It only took me a few moments before I handed it back to her.

As far as creeps...

"I don't like Mori," I said bluntly, still looking down. "He makes me feel weird, and he's mine and Kyo's doctor. I don't give a shit what he tries to do to me, but... But I know all Kyo wants is to get out of here and I don't want anything bad to... I don't..." I looked up, brows knit together in worry as I met Caroline's eyes. "I don't want Mori to hurt him. I've never really trusted someone before like this except my brother, but this is different. If Kyo gets hurt, or gets fucked up because of him..." My voice trailed off as I looked away.

"He seems to do his job, but I felt so uncomfortable when I first met him..." I mumbled, looking down as I played with my pillow. I... Really cared about Kyo, I guess. Usually I wouldn't have given a shit about what some other guy was doing.

"That's spooky, stop being so effortless at that." She gladly accepted the work handed back to her. Playfully, she bonked his head with the sketchbook lightly. "Seriously, it's one thing to be a show-off, another thing entirely to be scary about it." She was still unsure of the bird, but she was slowly warming up to the idea. "We should start with the cage first and go from there, yeah? One needly thing at a time."

Her body immediately stiffened at the mention of Mori. She understood the worry in his eyes, but she had to look away immediately, lest he see the fear in hers. So she wasn't just on edge because he'd come close to attacking her on multiple occasions. Now, he was a genuine creep who put everyone on edge. The worst part was that Jiho wanted to protect someone he cared about, and she knew that feeling all to well. Hell, she even felt it to a point right now. If something happened to Kyo, it'd destroy Jiho, too, wouldn't it?

"Yeah," she said, looking at anywhere but him. She couldn't even muster a faked calming smile, biting the inside of her cheek instead. She hadn't realized she'd started clutching the drawing. "Mori and I don't exactly get along. He tends to be the kind of person who thinks I'm a stupid bitch." Among other things, like threatening her, cornering her, bringing every fear she couldn't stand to mention to anyone but her grandmother to life, making the wall she spent years building up suddenly crumble around her, and in front of a patient no less. Even now, she was powerless to stop it, and was instead trying to mask it as a childish anger from a few hurtful words.

I nodded. "Start with the cage, add the feathers when you feel the time is right. There's a different emotion evoked from an empty cage and a cage where a bird is escaping to freedom," I mumbled, unknowingly letting out a soft sigh as I spoke. That sounded nice, getting out of here. Freedom... All that jazz.

When I got bonked on the head I didn't even recoil this time, simply fixing my hair as it had now gotten a bit mussed. I really was getting better at this 'physical contact' thing, but when Caroline reacted to Mori's name I stopped.

So she thought he was a creep, too? Awesome, even people that worked here knew something was wrong with the guy. Now I was even more on edge about the whole deal. I just listened to her speak and swallowed deeply.

"... He think you're a stupid bitch?" I asked, brow raised. "Now I like him even less." My voice trailed off for a second, lips pursed. "I think he's a stupid bitch..." My words were barely a mumble but I chuckled nonetheless, eventually looking back at Caroline with furrowed brows and a soft frown.

"I just don't want him to... I like Kyo a lot. Please don't let him hurt him," I pleaded softly, knowing that Caroline couldn't really do anything about it. "Kyo doesn't even fucking belong in this place. I... I kinda do, but Kyo doesn't. Ah, this is frustrating," I finished, groaning and dropping my head into my hands.

I didn't know how to fix this... This was a mess of emotions and I just wanted to stop being worried about this...

"I think he's a stupid bitch, too." She laughed, but her heart broke as he continued to speak, and it practically crushed her when he asked for her protection. She'd seen the corruption these halls held, and in some cases, she could keep it in check. The problem with protecting one patient usually meant condemning another.

Knowing Mori, there was little she could do to prevent it other than blacklist him between the patients themselves. Even then, Mori was uncontrollable, on a completely different level from her, and it put her under his radar in a way she wasn't sure she could handle. Gently, her fingers reached to Jiho's hair, fixing some spots he missed.

"I'll do everything I can to protect Kyo and you, okay, Duckling? Promise. Best thing you can do is tell Kyo to be cautious about accepting treatment from him. Medicines, especially. Just don't let him know you're trying to avoid treatment. Don't let on that he's a creep, not that he cares if you know or not. Most importantly, don't worry yourself to death." She took a deep breath. He needed a consolation that she could not offer, but the least she could do was give him words that calmed her.

"'You do not have to be afraid of the darkness that he lives in.' That's what my grandmother says. Just let me do what I can, even if it's just a little."

Was I being called Duckling now? I chuckled to myself, nodding and not even flinching away when Caroline reached out to muss with my hair. Usually I would, but this time I wasn't going to.

"I'll tell him. I need to. I don't want Mori to try to fuck with his head or something... I don't want him to change Kyo, because he doesn't need to change." I pursed my lips, brows furrowed. I'd let her help just because I was worried, and I knew I couldn't do anything about it. But in any case, there was still a level of worry in my mind.

Don't be afraid of the darkness that he lives in, huh? I was more afraid of what that darkness could do to someone I cared about.

I wasn't used to actually caring about someone enough to protect them like this.

After a moment of silence I looked up at Caroline, brows still furrowed.

"Do you... Do I seem crazy to you?" I asked, a frown barely tugging at the corners of my lips. I had a couple of problems, but who didn't? I just wanted to be out of here. Quietly I laid my head to rest on her shoulder, sighing softly.

Caroline allowed him to rest on her shoulder, affectionately leaning her head to meet his. Happily, her heart buzzed with the knowledge that before this day, he had originally been completely not alright with any touches. It felt to her a bit like he was letting her in, and he definitely was. They actually spoke about him in great detail, this time, instead of her just babbling at him. About the things he felt were important, about what he enjoyed, what he feared.

"'Crazy' isn't the word I would use, in the first place, to describe any patient. But you are definitely not crazy, at least not right now. Worried, maybe, but not without reason." Teasingly, she nudged him. "Hey, Duckling, when did you start being so cute, huh? When you got a new boyfriend to be all cute for, I bet. Somewhere between all the kissing and hugging you turned into a cuddler, didn't you!"

Her tone was light, trying to ease the worry he felt and covering it with something else, anything else, like embarrassment. It usually worked for her cat, so why not for him?

I felt my eyebrow twitch as I looked down, even blushing a bit before I curled into myself slightly. Oh no, here came the teases and the embarrassment. I bit my lip, shaking my head.

"He's not my boyfriend," I mumbled, shaking my head. I mean, if only right? But so far nothing had really progressed, had it? I had to chuckle. "We... No, not we... I kissed him once," I added, flustered accent slipping into my tone as I continued. "I don't know what to do, because I wasn't expecting to fall for someone in a damn asylum, ah..." I pursed my lips, turning away and puffing my cheeks slightly.

"He's stubborn." I shrugged, mussing my hair up a bit. "I'm not used to actually dealing with... this," I started, gesturing a bit with my hands. I was clearly referring to the feelings despite the fact that I motioned toward the room. "I've never actually... liked... I'm always drunk when I..."

Truth be told, I wasn't horribly comfortable with even talking about anything like this usually. It was really clear from how I was stuttering over my words, the fact that my Korean accent was slipping into my tone, and how I was fidgeting with my pillow in my lap. But I was making an attempt, at least.

"You actually kissed?" Her hands came to her cheeks, shaking her head. "That's so sweet!" She was nearly swooning, giddiness overflowing. She was happy to celebrate his relationship, however confusing it may be. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, or something like that. But she was never jealous of couples, and she never would be.

"You've never had a sober outing, either? Unfortunately, all mine were." She snickered, rolling her eyes. The men who'd used her for her body had never once thought to drug her or get her drunk first. She'd always just figured they wanted her to remember the agony and infuriating mortification they'd forced her to feel, and she never had a reason to think otherwise.

"But you just kissed him that once, right? Did you ever bring it up again? If you tell him you want it, it shouldn't be too bad. I guess the worst thing he could do is say no, so I'd check if it's okay with him first instead of just dropping your scrubs in his room and climbing into his bed, you know?"

"We didn't kiss, I kissed him. There's a difference. But..." I shrugged, sighing softly. I didn't know what to make of the whole situation, actually. Why was I even telling this to someone that was almost a stranger to me? I didn't even know - at least I felt comfortable enough to talk about it. "It was awkward. Not horrible, awful awkward, just... awkward. I sound like I'm in high school." I slid my hands back into my hair, pushing it off of my face.

"I don't even remember half of it. Or them," I said, shaking my head. I did, however, look to her, brow raised. "You... don't want to remember them? Bad memories?" I asked, though when she continued I shook my head.

"Yeah... I never really mentioned it. And I won't... Do that," I said, stifling a laugh. "I'm just... I can ignore this place when I'm with him. If that even makes sense."

What was I even talking about anymore?

"Like, he didn't like it? But you did?" Confusion lined her words, trying to figure out what was happening with Jiho and Kyo. He wasn't lying, it really was just kind of... hard to explain. She wondered how much of a blessing it would be if she could not remember the things she'd been forced to do or the people she'd been forced by. Swallowing, she thought. Jiho had been open with her. He was honestly trying, and it seemed to make him feel better. Wonder came over her. The only person she'd ever told was the old French woman she used to blame for it all.

"Never really had a boyfriend, remember? Never had sex with anyone I liked, or anyone I wasn't immediately horrified by. I was ignorant, scared, and weak, everything I'm not today. Bad memories is kind of an understatement, but yeah, I guess that comes close." She waved it off, trying to refrain from her problems and focusing on his.

"Even if you aren't really dating, it's still kind of nice, right? You have someone that makes you feel like you're at home, even when you both know you aren't. It's a wonderful thing, feeling safe with someone no matter what. I guess... just be thankful that he's there, and don't worry about pushing things too quickly. You've got all the time in the world, even if one of you leaves. I'm sure a part of him feels the same way, even a little."

"More like... he didn't respond but he didn't push me away, I guess," I mumbled, more of a failed attempt to explain than anything else. I didn't even know how to describe what was going on, other than confusing and slightly frustrating. I just didn't know.

And I didn't want to really think about being separated just yet. I was more worried for him than I was worried about him leaving. And I didn't know how to tell him that.

When Caroline spoke up, though, I furrowed my brows. What was she talking about? I ended up turning to look at her, sitting cross-legged on the bed. "That sounds... pretty awful," I mumbled, looking down. Maybe this woman was a bit different than I'd originally thought. And here I was, thinking everyone who worked in this dump was a damn psychopath. Caroline... She was okay. "I'm sorry."

There was a long silence before I spoke again and it was then that I looked up. "I just want him to smile more, and not think he's worthless. That's all. Because he's not," I said, biting my lip when I was finished.

I really did sound like some lovesick idiot.