A Need to Relax [CLOSED]

It was like I had two modes in this place. I was either horribly irritated with the doctors and staff for keeping me here for no reason, or I was completely giddy and shy around the one other person here I could really talk to. It was getting me completely flustered every moment of the day, and I didn't know what exactly to do about it. So for now I was lying in my room, humming softly to myself and doodling a random sketch.

That was another thing I caught myself doing. I caught myself humming a lot as I drew, specifically when it was a person I was drawing. And I couldn't count the number of times I caught myself zoning out and fantasizing about something or another. Or someone or another.

This place was getting to me.

I needed a way to really relax, maybe vent, maybe get a bit of advice or... something to ease my mind. I wasn't enjoying this, at least not for the most part.

Near-silent footfalls brought the doctor almost past the shut door beside him. However, a set of numbers stopped him in his tracks. How long had it been since he was checked in on? The doctor's long fingers reached out and sifted through his paperwork.

You've got to be kidding.

A deep sigh was likely heard from the other side of the door. Was he really the only doctor that fucking did anything around here? Leaving a patient unattended and un-monitored for over two weeks? Then he was free game.

Not that Mori needed more on his plate, but he wasn't about to let fresh meat rot. A light knock was placed on that door, before Haru let himself in. Unless stopped of course.

"So, is there some sort of reason that no other doctor wants to deal with you?" Mori made his way into the room, before looking over the male.

"Ah, I know you."

I glanced up when I heard my door open, pausing my sketching and looking over the man that walked in. I was about to retort, to say that someone had checked on me, once, but I decided against it. Instead I offered the man a little smile.

"Ah, I remember you, too," I said, sitting up a bit. "And I don't have any idea why people are ignoring me. Well... Mostly ignoring. One doctor checked on me." And then the nurse, though she hadn't checked on me so much as just talked to me for a bit.

Wasn't he Kyo's doctor? He was. Hm.

Mori pushed that door behind him closed, letting himself into the room completely. He inclined his head in acknowledgement when he was recognized right back. As he continued, Haru knit his brows together. When the patient himself realizes that he's practically being ignored, that's a really great sign.

"I noticed that. But that was some time ago." The doctor pulled over a chair, sitting near to the other male. "I'm doctor Mori. And it looks like I'll be seeing to you until someone decides that they want to take you back from me." He smirked.

"How are you feeling, and all of that?" What did he need, what could Mori trigger?

It certainly was some time ago, and I guess now I technically had two doctors, at least for the time being. Considering how Kyo talked about him, I assumed that, despite being a bit odd, Mori was a good doctor. I guess we'd just have to see about that.

"How do I feel?" I asked, closing my sketchbook and setting it on the bed next to me. It depended on the day. "Depends. Bored, anxious because of this stupid place..." Flustered when I was with Kyo, irritated at the doctors, annoyed with being stuck here... I could go on and on, but I chose to sigh and shrug. "I don't know. I'm not exactly the worst I've ever been." I smirked, glancing at him in a bit of curiousness.

Besides, I hadn't even had any episodes - no blackouts, no rages... I just wanted to go home.

A good doctor. Hmm. In his own mind, he was an excellent doctor. The best even. However, his methods, ideas, and the way his brain made sense of things made him... unstable in the least.

When he spoke, Mori realized that he should have rephrased the question. However, when he spoke of being bored, a light went off in Haru's head. He quickly snuffed it out. Being bored didn't mean that they wanted to be on acid.

His mind was already running rampant with ideas. Jumping right to the chase, the doctor crossed his legs. "What causes your blackouts? Is it just anger?" He made an exception with this patient. He looked over his file a bit. Now he was a bit different from Kyo. He actually seemed to have reason to be here, but perhaps that was incorrect as well. He seemed awfully stable.

I blinked. Wow, how forward of him. I nodded in response, taking a moment and sitting up. Oh hooray, I got to get into this talk again.

"Yeah. Anger. It needs a trigger." I didn't even know what really triggered them, or what happened in my mind, or what happened when I was... Out of it. "I guess, at least. I don't really know." I guess it was mostly people telling me off or touching me but I didn't know.

If this guy touched me in any way that wasn't medical, though... No. So far only one person was allowed to do that. Regardless I just sighed, picking at the fabric of my sheets.

"It's weird. But I'm getting better at controlling myself," I mumbled, looking down and nodding.

It needs a trigger.

Those were the words Mori loved to hear. "So you don't know any specifics about these triggers?" He accentuated the word. "Because you don't remember anything afterwards, correct?"

He paused, listening to the man speak. Well that was good, "But due to the fact that you don't know what causes it, you can't say you're getting better at controlling it, can you?" It was harsh, but it was true. "Has anyone ever run a CAT, or PET scan on your brain before?" He brought his long fingers up to tap on his chin. Perhaps it really was out of his control.

The doctor was intrigued, to say the least. Not only did he want to cause a blackout, he really wanted to know how to trigger it. It wasn't because he wanted to 'have the power', or anything like that, but it really would be interesting to see how many triggers he had, and to see if he could essentially cause them all to cease being triggers at all.

I frowned. Yeah, I guess he was right. I was trying to have less things piss me off, trying to keep my calm, but some stuff just... I honestly had no idea, some stuff just made me snap. But I figured if I could control my temper... And considering the last blackout I had turned out rather poorly for the guy I had been matched against...

"No, I've never... Had either of those," I replied, looking back up. Those hadn't even crossed my mind, actually. "I've never been hospitalized for it or anything. It's just... A thing. That happens once in a while."

And that was very, very true. It was just a thing that happened, and at this point I just kind of lived with it.

Judging the male's facial expression, Mori knew he was right.

He was always right.

He didn't say anything for a good moment or two, simply listening to what the other male had to say. He had never had either of those, huh? Well that was about to change. Mori wasn't about to judge the male, they were expensive tests.

"How often is 'once in a while'?" Haru allowed his fingers to mingle with one another in his lap, atop his thighs. He thought to himself for a moment. "Can you remember when they started?" Was he young? Was it more recently? Maybe something traumatic happened?

I felt my eyes wander to the other man's hands and I watched him move, attention having been caught. It wasn't like I couldn't afford the tests - actually, that was the least of my worries. It had just never crossed my mind, and when they started, my parents didn't think that a test like that was necessary. I'd just been punished.

"It just kind of happens intermittently, like... there's no rhyme or reason. Since I was a little kid," I added, finally looking up from the doctor's hands and meeting his eyes. "My brother would tell me what happened afterward. He was good at calming me down, too."

That was true - Jisuk was one of the few people around that knew exactly what to do. But when he wasn't around, well... we all saw what happened there.

"But like I said, it hasn't happened in a while, since... that last one." And I was determined for it to not happen again.

The doctor listened to his words, refraining from writing things down in his book just yet. "Was your brother the one that kept you out of places like this as well?" He simply figured. Normally when kids black out, their parents put them into hospitals to fix them. If he was this old, then he had been evading them.

It wasn't too hard to piece things together.

"And I assume the last blackout you had, landed you in our humble abode?" Haru spoke up, gesturing to the walls that surrounded Jiho. He blinked, staring back at the patient. "You said anger is usually the trigger, when you can remember. What makes you angry?" He smirked. "I mean really angry." Hulk angry.

I shrugged. "My parents just didn't really give a fuck. They threw me in time out and that was the end of it." I had to chuckle, rolling my eyes. I remembered that stupid corner fondly, every crack in the drywall, every mark in front of me. They had always just thrown me there after telling me how awful I was, and that pissed me off, but I was already stuck there, so...

"Hmm?" I asked, looking around when the doctor gestured. It... what now? Oh, right. It got me stuck in this dump. I nodded. "Yeah, that's why I'm here." I guessed. And what triggers it? Oh lord...

"Unwanted things. Unwanted touches, unwanted control... people hurting people that I care about, or trying to take away things that I love... People telling me what to do... A lot of things." I rambled on for a bit, pushing my hair back off of my face. If it was clinical, I could handle it. If it was something that I understood was needed, I would survive. But if someone was being a shitbag, I was going to call them on it. And that was what happened with the last guy.

The doctor blinked. He didn't ask about his parents, he asked about his brother. But okay. Parents were interesting. They were usually one extreme or the other. Negligence, or overprotective.

Haru followed Jiho's eyes as they looked around the walls as he spoke. Man, this kid was pretty out of it. Maybe he gave him too much of the benefit of the doubt.

Now this was where Mori really took notes. As he began to list off the things that made him angry, the doctor's brows lofted. "Yeah a lot of things." Mori brought his fingers up to his lips and tapped on them a bit as he thought to himself. "So if anger usually triggers it, and those things make you angry... It's rather safe to assume that any of those things could be a trigger for you." The elder stared the younger down. "Even with all of those different triggers, you think you're doing better? You think you can contain it?" They all thought they were good enough to leave.

Mori definitely wasn't going to write off on Jiho just yet.

I leaned back on my hands, shrugging and nodding. "Yeah," I replied, staring right back at the other man. Any of them could be a trigger, but clearly I was doing better. I was pretty irritated right now and I was also pretty calm. "I'm getting better with dealing with physical contact, at the very least," I added, even managing a little smile.

I used to punch at the littlest touch, but now... I either just shied away from them or let it happen, though that fully depended on the person and if I wanted it to happen. I just... didn't want to lose it on someone before I got out of here. So far, no one had managed to get under my skin. One person had gotten close, but I'd kept it together.

"I think I'm doing better," I finished, just a simple sigh punctuating the sentence. Actually, a couple people had managed to do a phenomenal job of calming me down.

That was one hell of a bold 'yeah'. Mori was about to give him so many scenarios, but the patient began to clarify that he was getting better with physical contact. He wasn't going to argue, the male clearly was proud of himself. He was going to let him have that.

When he finally finished his thought, Mori inclined his head slightly towards him. "Okay." He almost took it as a challenge. Cause a trigger and get him more time, thus giving Mori more time to work with him? Maybe. Regardless, he got the information he wanted and needed, and rose from his chair.

"We shall see, won't we?" The doctor smirked and pushed that chair back across the room, before moving towards the door. "Good luck to you." And unless he was stopped, the doctor pushed his way out of the room, grabbing Jiho's charts on his way out. He had a bit to write.

Woah, wait... That was it? I had been expecting a lot more than that, but then again, it was the first time I'd seen him. And, assuming he was going to stay my doctor, probably not the last. So I guess I shouldn't press it much. Instead I nodded.

"Mm... That was a lot shorter than I expected," I mumbled, chuckling softly and shrugging. "Thanks. For the luck," I said, offering a little smile to the other man.

Maybe he wasn't as bad as I originally thought. A little weird, but all in all kind of put together. At least he did his job, so that was a plus.