Upward Strides [Haru Mori | CLOSED]

Light filtered in through the window, the various smudges from the weeks that it hadn't been cleaned casting the odd shadow upon the floor. The air smelled almost sickly sweet, a mixture of potpourri and the underlying chemical reek of bleach and ammonia. It was a smell Die hated... one that forced a lump up into his throat and forced him closer to the window in hopes that it might provide some micron of relief from it. In the week he'd been here so far, he was still utterly confused by why they'd try to make the normal chemical stench of a hospital-type environment with something as acrid as potpourri.

His gaze flicked over the faded turquoise and cream tiles, sliding up the white-washed walls and over to the single painting in his room. It was a terrible re-print of a red vase and some poppies and he wondered idly if that was supposed to be some kind of joke given the properties of the flowers... or if someone was just a fucking idiot. Rolling onto his back on the uncomfortable twin-sized bed, he took up staring at the water stain on his ceiling, his arms behind his head, one leg propped up and the other crossed over the top of it. The stupid blue hospital pants rode up on him, showing his calves and the horribly loose white top swallowed him whole, nearly enough of it to act as a blanket for the time being. From his right wrist an IV ran to the bag next to his bed, the thing pumping nutrients into him since he was just coming out of the downturn that had landed him here in the first place.

He was thinner than he should have been, his stomach sunken and his cheekbones hollower than they once were. Even the rings on his fingers tried so hard to slip off when he wasn't looking and the cough he'd developed sounded like death itself was at his door. This had all been the result of a several month low after his life took a severe backwards swing. He'd lost his job and then he'd been denied disability despite it being a work-related injury that forced him away from the construction site in the first place. The result had been a lost girlfriend, his rental house taken out from under him, and the sale of most of his beloved things. Eventually the state had allowed him aid... for that much, he was thankful for. It'd let him finally get back to his therapist, though by that point he'd been beyond the reaches of their help.

And now... well... here he was. He hadn't been forced in, but he couldn't really say it was willing either. Places like this creeped him out, but he knew well he wasn't even remotely in a good place, so he'd allowed it with severe hesitation. The meds they'd given him had calmed him to a certain extent, at least enough to pull him up from the swamp of depression he'd fallen into. And the first few days had detoxed him out of the alcohol binge he'd been on.

Rolling onto his side, he gazed across the room at the empty bed. Someone else would eventually come, he was sure. But he'd been lucky so far... one of the few rooms in the hospital where he could have been alone. But he'd heard rumor... seen the car come in with a new patient earlier in the day... now he just wondered who it might be.

Another day, another drug, another experiment to further his curiosity.

Haru grinned as he rounded the corner, running his fingers along the paperwork on the door. He flipped a few pages, before comparing this patient's symptoms and illness to the desired candidates in his own notes. They were haphazardly scribbled in all directions within his small black notebook, but he read through them as if it were a final draft.

He finally let that clipboard hanging on the wall fall out of his fingers with a slight rattle before slinking into the room. That was truly the only way to describe how this doctor moved. He walked with a light glide, as would accompany his lighter frame. Perhaps he was trained in some sort of martial art, though it was highly doubtful after spending just a few minutes with the man. Something was definitely off about him, to say the least. His grin was still placed upon his features as he shut the door behind him with a slight click. Trust building. This patient was still new.

Running a hand through his longer locks, Haru spoke. “Good afternoon. I’m Doctor Mori.” His eyes closed a bit more as his smile increased. “You’ll be seeing a lot of me.”

Die drifted in and out of consciousness, tired from how weak he truly was. It took its tole on him though and he could feel the headache coming on from the constant in and out of consciousness that he was experiencing.

Just as he'd sat up, he heard the clatter of his chart on the door outside. Some part of him payed attention to it, but another part ignored it just as much, knowing the patients in the ward had been reading it several times already. As such, he never knew what to expect from it.

A few more seconds answered his questions though, as the door opened and a man moved into the room. He was wearing a badge, which meant he wasn't a patient... or that he'd stolen it from a doctor. A tiny smirk slid over Die's features and he looked right up at him, waiting on the inevitable introduction.

Die shifted enough to offer his hand to the doctor. "Andou Daisuke... I prefer to be called Die or Dai though if it's all the same." He kept the smile on his face, trying to be as nice as possible to the other. After all... no reason to get on the bad side of any doctor in this place, right?

Eyebrows lofting skyward, he really took his time to get a look at the male lying in the bed before him. He really needed a cookie, though the words never left his mouth. His mind rattled at the speed in which he was preparing a regime for the smaller male; all in the time it took for him to extend his hand in greeting.

What was that name again? Daisuke. Oh, but he just said something about that, didn't he? Shit. Yes! He liked it shortened. He liked- "Dai..." A smile graced Haru's face as he pulled one of the chairs closer to his bed and took a seat. "I'm fine with that."

Pulling out his leather-bound book, his fingers dug into the cover briefly, before turning it open to a disheveled page. He began throwing words onto it in a haphazard manner, hoping that the other wouldn't be able to see. Psychoactive drugs. Cannabis. Severely underweight. Get smaller clothes, he's drowning in them. As he scribbled, he spoke.

"What brings you here? You are rather new, are you not?" Haru's eyes squinted as he smiled deeper. Yes, he was fine. "In your own words. I could read your charts if I wanted to.

"Yeah... I've only been here a week so far." So he wanted this in his own words? He closed his eyes, knowing that parroting what he'd been told was likely not what the other was looking for from him. Opening them again, he shifted forward a bit, meeting the other's gaze for a moment before looking down at his own hands.

"Well... I have episodes. Sometimes I'm a proper member of society, everything's fine... and then something triggers me and I go on a downward spiral." He lifted his shoulders slightly in a shrug and moved his gaze to the window, fingers fidgeting with one another, moving one of his rings around between fingers. "I tend toward alcoholism when I'm in those moods... I don't eat right... and I get into violent phases... mostly self-destructive, not other people. Never my intention to hurt others."

He paused to cough, the rattle sounding horrible, and he winced, shaking his head. "Developed that about a month ago." He shifted slightly and looked back at the doctor. "I'm here... because I need to be, I suppose is the best way to put it. I'm looking for the stability of something... the help because I'm aware I need it, and the guidance of someone wiser than myself to put me back on the correct path... maybe for good this time and not just for the temporary."

A week, and Mori hadn't said hello? Well hopefully he swept in on him first. All of the doctors were rather protective and selfish when it came to their patients. They all had different ideals and ways to try and fix these individuals. Haru's ways were... much more fun.

As the male began to talk, more words fell onto those pages.

Bi-polar? Like me. Alcohol, violence. Self-harm.

When the other male mentioned that he didn't like to hurt others, Haru looked up at him and blinked. "What makes you hate yourself when you have one of these episodes?" Clearly it all links to pain, in his mind. He had never really been one for alcohol, but most people use it to deafen their pain.

When he coughed, Haru took a small note. He could tell that hurt. He was very interested to see if he could trigger one of these episodes to narrow down what caused it. Dai's words fell on half-deaf ears as he ran through the options in his head. Mori shut his book and leaned forward a bit. "Do you smoke?" He reached his fingers towards the male if he would have it. "Tip your chin up please."

If allowed, Haru ran his fingers under the male's jaw, trying to feel any swelling from the outside from the cough. "When was your last episode?"

See? Haru was somewhat-normal when immersed in his work. He really was looking out for the good of his patients, but he hated most everyone else.

Die's shoulders lifted in a half-shrug when the question came. He knew the other was writing things about him, but it didn't bother him. After all, that's what doctors were supposed to do, wasn't it?

He pursed his lips a little and debated it. "Failure," he finally responded. "It's the worst of it... when I fail at something I get so mad at myself." Like losing his job... like getting hurt... like - he cut his thoughts off and looked back at the doctor again.

Die nodded slightly when he was asked if he smoked. "Yes." Not since he'd been in here... which didn't help his irritability one bit, really, but what was he to do? When asked to move his head, he did, blinking languidly at him.

"Right before I checked in here... I hit rock bottom. Climbing my way back up." Hopefully forever this time.

Failure. So he was right, he hated himself. Wasn't the first time. Mori held his tongue while he listened. He certainly wasn't a therapist, so he wasn't about to motivationally speech this guy into perfect health. He didn't get paid enough to do that and his own job.

And he smoked? Well he likely wouldn't have an adverse reaction to many of the ideas that Haru had then. When you put those toxins into your body, you build up a strange sort of immunity while killing yourself. He knew from experience.

Pulling his hand away from his throat, the doctor nodded. "That's usually how it starts." Folding his book closed, he slipped it back into his pocket. Pushing himself to a stand, he moved to the IV in the corner and read the small bag. Good, nothing that would disrupt his next idea. "How are you feeling right now?" He blinked and looked down at the male. He was surprised that he wasn't stationed in CSU what with the IV, and self-harm attempts. But what did he know?

Die watched the other move around, sensing something was near to actually happening for once since he'd been here. He watched the book disappear into his pocket and then followed him with his eyes as he checked on Die's IV. He'd left it alone, put in place where it was. After all, this was far easier than trying to choke down food for the most part. He'd take nutrients this way all the time if he had his way, but... probably not something he should mention if he wanted out of here anytime in the next century. Besides... it was a phase. He'd get out of it and go back to normal eventually, he always did.

"Mmm... a little bit tired... weak." He shrugged. "Still sort of down, but I guess when you're fired for getting hurt at work and not given disability... one would expect to be "a little" down, right?" Just not the sort of down he'd been a week before... and maybe not quite as down as he still was. But... close perhaps.

Part of him wondered what this man had in store for him. Perhaps some new drugs... more pills to make life go round. Or maybe taking him off the ones he was on. Or... who knew, maybe the stories he'd heard about here were right and he was in for hell. Time would tell, he supposed.

If Dai had told him that this was the most attention he had really been given since he arrived, Mori wouldn't have been that surprised. Not that he was a devoted doctor, but many of the other doctors simply didn't check in on patients. The longer they were in the system, the more funding this hospital received. Most of us were aware of that. At least the ones with a working brain.

Tired and weak, hmm? He opened his mouth to speak, but Dai wasn't finished yet. "I'm not good with this sort of thing, but your stay will be much better if you forget all of that." Yes, that was real life, and this is something else entirely.

"Do you prefer to eat normally?" Some preferred this IV method when severely depressed. Once he received his answer, Haru excused himself for a brief moment to take a trip down the hall to the cold room, fishing out two things. One vial, and two tablets. He had made the tablets, but he kept them in his own stash anyways, so no one really touched that and left happy.

His walk back to the room was brief, and he entered just as silently as he came in the first time. "I have two things for you. A relaxant to help you sleep, and two tablets that dissolve under your tongue for your throat." He eyed the other briefly, before moving to put one rubber glove over his right hand. "Open up."

Effects: Mild euphoria, numbness of pain and/or muscles, relaxation, stimulation of hunger, suppression of nausea and/or vomiting.

Once Dai had those pills in his mouth, the doctor moved to draw out a specific dose from the vial and inject it into the clear tube running into the male below.

Effects: Drowsiness, muscle weakness, blurred vision, and dizziness.

Die debated if he was going to tell the other if he preferred it this way for the time being. He finally murmured, "I would rather it be this way for now, stomach is still not so fond of me." He shrugged a little. "But some food is good, too... just spaced out until I can get more in again." Honesty... at least mostly.

He blinked as the other left the room, sitting back against the wall and studying his hands, idly turning the ring round and round on his finger as he wondered if they were done or if he'd see the doctor again in a moment.

The door opened again and he looked up, studying the man as he told him he had things for him. Some part of him was a bit confused by not being allowed to take his own pills, but he just opened up anyway, trying not to worry about what kind of psycho they must think him to be that he couldn't even be trusted to put his own pills in his mouth.

He closed his mouth and winced as they started to dissolve, the taste unpleasant at best, downright disgusting at worst. He made a face and then murmured, "Any chance I can have some water after these dissolve? It's... sort of gross tasting."

It wasn't so much of a trust issue, as it was that Mori was a perfectionist. It had to be his way. This was why he usually traveled solo and didn't work with other doctors. There was one surgeon he liked, but that was because they had shared the same ideals, as well as drug related experiences.

When the patient requested water, Haru nodded. "I'll have a nurse bring in water and a small bit of food. Eat it if you get hungry, but don't force yourself." He looked over the other male once again. "I'll have a few more pills for you when you awaken, as well as a change of clothes. If you feel your appetite returning, they will remove the IV for you." He blinked slowly, looking at the plastic pack. "But only if you want." He knew what it was like to not want to eat. Only he thought of it as a waste of his time.

"One more thing." Haru paused and pushed his chair back with a few steps. "If you feel tired, sleep. Don't fight it." He turned on his heel then and left the room, briefly hollering for a nurse. "I will see you sooner rather than later, Dai."

Doctor Mori was gone, but a nurse would have entered soon enough bringing a small bit of food and water for the bed-ridden male, as well as a smaller set of clothes. They would have administered two more of Mori's pills when Dai awoken next, hopefully allowing for him to regain enough strength and appetite to roam out of his room if he chose.

Die gave a little nod when the other said he'd get the nurse to bring in water and some food. He supposed he'd do his best to get some of it in if nothing else. No reason not to try, in any case.

He looked a bit surprised when he was told he'd have a change of clothing. He moved his hand over the very baggy clothing and offered a tiny smile. "Thank you... it'll be nice to have a change of clothes." Maybe something that fit better... that'd be nice.

When the other mentioned sleep, he gave a little nod. "Okay. Um..." he was going to ask what he'd been put on, but he supposed maybe he could just ask the nurse when she came back in. "Yeah... soon."

And then doctor Mori was gone. The nurse showed up a bit after with some food and water, and Die did his best, putting half a sandwich in and then drinking down all the water. That wasn't so bad, he supposed. Better than usual. And at least he didn't feel nauseous just yet. About thirty minutes later, he was passed out on the bed, his new clothing waiting on the nightstand for him for when he woke up later.